Reluctant Bystander

What are the chances? The gal who is known in the school as the bully prevention person witnesses what could be considered a "bullying" incident. Yesterday, at the bus stop I was at a school where two kids pick up snow. The inevitable snowballs start flying. One small child throws it first. The larger child (unfortunately labeled by the school as the bully) throws one back, harder, at the smaller student. I do the right thing and tell both students that snow is to be left on the ground. I look down and the smaller kid is crying in pain. The "bully" says, "He threw it first." Which is true. Now what?

This is where the way the school responds is key. The institution can either fuel the problem or help to put a stop to it. The cast of characters couldn't be more classic. The setting is ripe for trouble. The school personnel must listen to all the sides of the story. But in the end, we want everyone to take responsibility for their own actions. Including myself-the reluctant bystander. Now is the time to link arms (or teach kids how to do this metaphorically) and say, "Enough is enough." This little incident kept the other kids from getting to where they want to be. Why should they have to suffer-even for a few minutes for someone else's poor choices?

No Bullying Here

Today I received a call from a parent from a prestigious private school. She told me that her son has been the target of sexual harassment and outright bullying every day since the beginning of school. She reported it to the administrator. The administrator told her that there is, "no bullying at their school." The administrator also told her when she tried to label it as bullying that she could, "call it what she wants." Again, it seems that there is a definition problem here at this location. There is also a much more serious offense-denial. Bullying and harassment happen in all schools. School climate is the real issue in this particular situation.

Boys will be boys-not!

I just spoke with a principal at a school. We were talking about a situation at her school involving a couple of students. She reminded me that us middle aged women need to understand that "boys will be boys." This is a dangerous concept when we are talking about a child who has been known to exhibit bullying type behavior. Why would we let this type of behavior continue? It is our job as adults to intervene appropriately when there is an unsafe situation at a school. The "boys will be boys" excuse is unacceptable and unfair to all of the parties involved.