There should be a law

My experience in Prevention Consulting is that schools are reluctant to report bullying that can be considered criminal in nature. I am in favor of a law that would force school officials to to report activity such as harassment and stalking to the proper authorities. School officials often under react to very serious reports by parents and students. This is a disservice to the entire community.

I want my child to stay in his school...

A parent recently called me to say she wanted her child to remain in their home school. The problem is the school has been unresponsive to a bullying situation. I'm so glad she called because with a few meetings, the entire picture improved for both the student and the school. I met with the student a couple of times to "harden the target" so to speak. Then I met with the school to talk about best practice in the field of bullying prevention. Sometimes the school unknowingly perpetuates a bullying situation. With a few tweaks (and an extra set of eyes) I was able to help both the student and the school. I am honored to have had the chance to be of assistance to this family and school.

Reluctant Bystander

What are the chances? The gal who is known in the school as the bully prevention person witnesses what could be considered a "bullying" incident. Yesterday, at the bus stop I was at a school where two kids pick up snow. The inevitable snowballs start flying. One small child throws it first. The larger child (unfortunately labeled by the school as the bully) throws one back, harder, at the smaller student. I do the right thing and tell both students that snow is to be left on the ground. I look down and the smaller kid is crying in pain. The "bully" says, "He threw it first." Which is true. Now what?

This is where the way the school responds is key. The institution can either fuel the problem or help to put a stop to it. The cast of characters couldn't be more classic. The setting is ripe for trouble. The school personnel must listen to all the sides of the story. But in the end, we want everyone to take responsibility for their own actions. Including myself-the reluctant bystander. Now is the time to link arms (or teach kids how to do this metaphorically) and say, "Enough is enough." This little incident kept the other kids from getting to where they want to be. Why should they have to suffer-even for a few minutes for someone else's poor choices?

No Bullying Here

Today I received a call from a parent from a prestigious private school. She told me that her son has been the target of sexual harassment and outright bullying every day since the beginning of school. She reported it to the administrator. The administrator told her that there is, "no bullying at their school." The administrator also told her when she tried to label it as bullying that she could, "call it what she wants." Again, it seems that there is a definition problem here at this location. There is also a much more serious offense-denial. Bullying and harassment happen in all schools. School climate is the real issue in this particular situation.

Boys will be boys-not!

I just spoke with a principal at a school. We were talking about a situation at her school involving a couple of students. She reminded me that us middle aged women need to understand that "boys will be boys." This is a dangerous concept when we are talking about a child who has been known to exhibit bullying type behavior. Why would we let this type of behavior continue? It is our job as adults to intervene appropriately when there is an unsafe situation at a school. The "boys will be boys" excuse is unacceptable and unfair to all of the parties involved.